Shashi Tharoor: Why nations should pursue "soft" power

A Proud Indian

I have been blogging (on & off) for a while now. Yeah ! I know  -- its been more 'off' than 'on' :) but then what I am trying to say is that I've been a part of the blog world since August 2006. It started off as an 'IN' thing to do back then and then slowly turned into my way of putting down thoughts that I didn't really talk about (Don't ask me why cause I Don't know). 

All this while have have never really cared about who was reading my blog or what it meant to them. I was aware that my wife read it every now and then & my Cousin's wife always asked me if I had posted something new...but that was all the viewership I was aware of and honestly the only two I actually took feedback or questions from. So I was pleasantly surprised when "Fighter Jet" Left a comment on my last post. 

Now....... under any other circumstances, I would have ignored his query....But this one is about my country and therefore I believe it requisites an answer. He asked, "why are you proud to be an Indian?"

My fundamentals on Patriotism go way back to my school days where I participated in declamation contest and started my speech with a quote from a poem by Sir Walter Scott

Breathes there the man with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said,

 "This is my own, my native land!"

I don't remember anything else about that day, not even which class I was in or how well (or badly) I might have been with the rest of the speech. But this Quote has always been stuck in my head.

I believe that when it comes to the law of averages we Indians beat most other people as Happy people. (This is not a data driven analytical response but a heartfelt belief).

India is a 'Land of Hope & Survival' no matter what comes our way, we get on with life (sooner or later). 

India is a "Land of Jugad" - Got something difficult or impossible - give it to us, we'll find a way of getting it done (that we use the same skill to bypass the law is a different story altogether). We find a way to do or get done what we want. We are also very 'adjusting' which is why 'kindly adjust' is a colloquial term in most Indian Languages.

Moreover, I believe being proud ot be an Indian is my way of saying I love my country. Yes we have flaws - who doesn't ? We have bad politicians - which country doesn't? We have some BAD people around - So what ?

We even  have a LOT of GOOD People(including Politicians), Things & Places in our Country - They just don't make VERY Interesting or marketable News or Blog Posts :)

I will end this post with another Quote by Theodore Roosevelt:

"Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiently or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else."

Divide and Rule

• Hindus...Muslims....Sikhs...Christians.....
• Upper Class....Lower Class....Backward Class....'Other' Backward Class....
• Upper Caste....Lower Caste....Scheduled Class....Scheduled tribes....
• South Indian.....North Indian.........
• Marathi 'Manus'...........Bihari 'Babu'.............UP 'ke Bhaiya'..........
• Literates........Illiterates..............

I grew up talking about and listening to people describing 'India' as the land of a variety. We were and continue to be an ensemble of cultures, religions, tribes, races, languages , dialects, lifestyles, architecture and a lot more.....These combinations made us unique and worthy of Awe.....

As kids we learnt that the Britishers ruled over us by using a divide and rule policy......Now after ALL these years I wonder if it was them or US who caused the divide & rule...........Our politicians have done a much better Job than the British could have ever imagined.

The combinations & variety amongst people of our country  - something we should be proud of is NOW the greatest topic for collecting votes............. and that scares me....

We live in a country today where being a convicted criminal with a prison record is worth putting on your resume if you want to 'serve the people'.

At this point I believe I should make it clear that I AM PROUD to be an Indian and Love my country. This write up is not because I am losing faith but more because I am concerned about the direction we as a country and as Indians are moving in. 

The recent events in Mangalore make me wonder....when Islamic extremists take violent steps to 'protect' their 'culture' and 'way of life' - we label them terrorists.......When Hindu extremists do something similar - we discuss 'Culture' on our 'news' channels............

Does your love for your religion & culture come above your love for humanity ?.......If it does - you must be from a different planet cause on planet earth - NO religion or culture that I have ever heard of teaches it.

Does your love for your language or state come above your love for your country & the pride of being an Indian ? -- I hope not.

I don't know 

if I am righteous.....

If I am on the right path..........

If I am cultured.....

If I follow ANY religion.......

I don't even know what the term 'GOD' really means to me.......

But I do know this........

I am a PROUD INDIAN & I believe in the religion called HUMANITY.

Growing Up....are we ?

"Do words change meaning as we grow older or do we just learn too many words to remember their true meaning?"

 The question keeps coming back into my head everyday as I watch Arhaan grow and notice the other kids around him.

Funny

Anything or anyone can be funny. It depends on 'your' mood not the 'quality' of the joke or the other persons 'sense of humour'.

Persistence/Risk

'Never give up' used to be a way of life not 'tried & tested (and failed)'. Everyone falls a LOT before they start walking, we still kept working on it till we walked and then ran..........Try learning something difficult now.

Risk is a part of life. So u'll get hurt.......lets try it anyway....Climb a chair....fall down....cry.......and when u are done crying.......:) TRY again.

Achievement & Pride

Every small achievement is worth celebrating. You don't need to wait for recognitions & rewards. Never need to wait for someone to tell you that you've been a 'good boy'......You know it and you don't have a problem telling others about it.

Love & Romance

Love doesn't need a commitment, or returns for that matter. Romance is a quiet & personal affair......again no returns, not even an acknoledgement is needed, no one needed to know and just the thought of the other person will make you smile.

Time to learn from the kids..........Have you ever realized that kids are more observant & respectful of people around them than most adults. They actually smile at 'street vendors' & even acknowledge the beggars at traffic signals with a grin......... 

"The Child is the father of the Man" isn't that what William Wordsworth wrote.........never really understood it.............but I think I am begining to get the idea now..................I am Growing Up all over again.

Be Born Every Morning

Heard a new analogy today...."we should live everyday like an entire life". Made me think about how my son (or any kid for that matter) spends their entire day and wonder if we 'grown ups' could at least start our day that way.

Be born every morning.....

Allow your mind to start each day anew.

Don't let troubles/issues of yesterday linger on.

Don't be worried about what you will do when you are grown up (later in the day).

Allow yourself to enjoy and find pleasure in every activity around you.....even breakfast time can be fun.

You are gonna LIVE the day....Don't rush it.

Grow up into the day......

Face you responsibilities.

Do what you want to :)

Work hard.

Plan for the future (later half of the day) & how what you do NOW will impact it.

Work towards what you want your future (evening) to be like.

Go through the 'mid-life' crisis during mid day.......

Live the unsure period.

Will you make it ?

Are you on the right track ?

Do you have to be doing what you are doing ?

Die everynight.....

Nothing you earned, learnt, bought or owned during the day, matters when you sleep.

Die (sleep) in peace.

You are dead (asleep) so things that 'didn't get done' or 'didnt work out' during the day dont't matter.

If you want to lookback (or reflect) on your life (that day)...think about what you accomplished, Things you managed to do. Don't worry about tomorrow you are dead (you can't do much about tomorrow while you are sleeping so why bother the mind with those thoughts).

Be Born Again :)

Life is Beautiful

Wake up at 6 am (not the best feeling in the world)

Wait for the newspaper (its never on time)

Get late leaving home for office

Have breakfast on the move

Get stuck in bad traffic (feels like all bad drivers travel on the same route)

Reach office late

System takes ages to start up

Go through loads of 'Important' official mail

See loads of spam on your personal email IDs.

Same work different day.

Lousy lunch

Back to work - waiting for the day to end

Get last minute work

Finally get out of office

Drag self to the gym.

Pay money to slog & sweat

Pains in various 'muscles'

Head back home

Bad traffic - Same bloody drivers

Finally reach back home tired & dazed

Open the door.....walk into the house

Drop the gym bag

Mom, Dad & D say, "Hi !"

I softly say "hello"

peep into the first room - Arhaan is awake.....



He sees me and smiles :)

I say - "Hey Babyyyy"

Arhaan says, "Coooooooo" and then laughs.

I am smiling again

D asks, "how was your day ?"

I say, "Beautiful".

Leaving on a Jetplane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye....Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane.

Off to Pune for the next 2 weeks.

Happy.........Excited........Scared..........and not realy sure what to expect.

By the time I write my next blog, I am likely to be a 'Daddy' :)

Wow..........I must be getting old....but then........maybe I can stay young longer.......Am I making sense.......I dont think so.......Do I know what I want to write......Nope.

I am in the mood to celebrate........but its not time yet.............

For those on my phone list - expect an SMS

For those in my mailing lists - expect spam - Like it or not ;)

The way I feel right now - I am likely to stand on the rooftop and scream once the baby arrives.

Till Daddy finds time to write again.........................Ciao.

A Salute to the women in my life

'Vasanti takes me to office & Sunaina drops me back home'. Thats what I have been telling people who tell me that driving to office and back home is a pain because of the traffic in Bangalore. I however realised only recently how much of a difference these ladies make in my life.

Vasanti went on a vacation and Anajana took over......Don't get me wrong, she is very good too..........but the change in the morning got me thinking how we 'get used' to the women in our life and start taking them for granted. I know I do.

The reason I am putting this down is because this 'realization' is not just because of the RJ's but also related to my darling wife. For the benefit of those who still dont know, we are expecting a baby in Mid march. The delivery will be in Pune and because of Airline rules and doctors orders, D can't travel past the 35th week.

That was the good news. The bad news (atleast from my point of view) is that this is the 35th week. She leaves for Pune on Feb 15th.

After having had her around all the time for almost 6 years, its weird to think about her not being around me all of a sudden. Although I plan to be in Pune for 2 weeks around the delivery date and then again in the end of April, the next few months are the longest that we've been away from each other. Infact, in the last 6 years its never been more than 2 weeks.

Being the idiot that I am, I was unnecessarily honest with my wife in acknowledging that i was looking forward to living by myself for a while..........which is only partially true. I WILL miss her - I know - Not just during Breakfast & Dinner, but throughout the day & night. She IS the best thing that ever happened to me, and for those of you who haven't met her or dont know her - I feel sorry for you.

Its about time I was forced to live by myself again. Time to find if I can still cook my own meal and if I can operate that washing machine :). There is a part of me that wants to go through the grind because I think I have become very lazy & dependent on my wife - which is not a very good thing.

And to my darling wife, I promise - I will keep the house clean, and not leave my clothes all over the place, Eat healthy (and on time) and workout at the gym regularly to get back in shape. I will also re-pot all the plants while u are away ;)

Now that I have finished writing I am wondering if the name of this article should have been 'A Salute to the love of my life', cause honey - for you I would give up the Vasantis, Sunainas & Anjanas anyday.

The Grasshopper Story

OLD VERSION...
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

ALL our NEWS channels show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

One well known Socialite (also considered a social activist) stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Another one goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. WHO and the UN criticize the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Some Political parties call for "Bharat Bandh" demanding a Judicial Enquiry. Another state government immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Railways allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter.

The HRD Ministry makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Insititutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by our 'round the clock' News Channels.

Our 'Social Activists' calls it "a triumph of justice". Some Ministers call it 'Socialistic Justice'. CPM calls it the 'revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden'. The grasshopper is invited to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later...The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in silicon valley. 100s of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India .

As a result loosing lot of hard working ants and feeding the grasshoppers India is still a developing country......

Swing Workshop

Finally Managed to get my hands on some pictures taken during the swing workshop by Jennifer Lyons. Have uploaded some of the pictures @ multiply.....Enjoy

The "Chappell" Effect - Just for laughs

Someone sent me this pic a day after I wrote about the state of Cricket in our counrty.......its nice and brings a smile to your face even if you are not a cricket fan ;)

We can't Play

Sorry as I feel for Md. Kaif beacuse of what people did to his house, I think the blame lies with us, The Audience in our country. We build up these huge expectations from our teams and expect them to Win everything where ever they go..

I don't think its the fault of our players that they can't Win.....may be the blame lies with the selectors who can't find 16 inform players in the entire country.

Why just blame and torture the cricketers, weren't we champions at Hockey once upon a time ? I remember staying up late at night during school days to watch India battle it out in a Hockey World Cup - doesn't even sound like a fact anymore.

I believe that the problem that needs fixing is in the basic administration of sports in the country and the sponsership models.

Why else would Sania still be strugling between the 50-100 rank, Narian working as a test driver in F1, Hockey - [do we still have a team ?], Leander & Bhupathi - don't want to play together [They were doing well together, weren't they ?], Anju Bobby George can't seem to get it right when it matters ??

I seriously doubt if we can be world beaters in Kho-Kho & Kabadi anymore.

Golf, they say, is the new high in Indian Sports - All I can say is - Wait till our sponsors & advertising guys find out :)

The Beginning

Before I start telling you about my successful vacation to Goa, let me tell you about the fiasco I almost created before going to Goa.

I personally blame the domestic Airline in our country for this....but then there are others who believe I messed up.....On second thoughts maybe I did....just a little bit...or a little more than that...:) Here's what happened:

We had received an SMS from the airline a few days before our departure stating the flight was rescheduled to 1350 hrs instead 1230 hrs. When we told some of our friends about it...they said - "ha ha - Low Cost Airline - No Frills : no Thrills - its gonna get further delayed".

So here we were on the day - All packed and ready to go.....i called an Auto - D & I got started on our trip to Goa. 500 meters to the Airport and my phone went - beep beep - You've got a Message. With a disgusting grunt I pulled out my phone and read -



"Your flight number ### from XXX-XXX has been delayed and will now depart at 1530 hrs".



I asked D to check with the Fat Fashion Freak [:)] where he was (he was coming with us on the same flight). I even asked the Auto chap to stop on the side.........the idea was - with 2 & a half hours to go - we might as well turn around and go to his house for an hour or so.

Our friend however was almost at the airport too.......so we thought we'll meet up there.

Once at the Airport, My darling D asked me to find out why the flight was delayed and I, in my usual disgusted tone responded - "what difference is that gonna make ?"

We were there for about 10 minutes when our friend arrived and we debated for a little while to what our options were - and then decided we might as well check in our bags and grab a bite.

We walked up to the check-in counter and asked, " is the flight gonna get delayed any further ??"

Prompt came the reply, " Your Flight is on time, Sir."

OOOPSSSS - I said and pulled out my phone to re check the message. The problem was i had read the message exactly like i wrote it above.

The ### read 644 & the XXX-XXX read - Goa - Blr.

I said Sorry to D & the Fashion Freak and we went on to Board the flight.

We landed in Goa at 1450 hrs, and I couldn't help but think - if these 2 had listened to me and we had gone back to his house......we'd be catching a cab for the Airport around the same time that we landed :0

I would never have heard the end of it --- I don't think I have have even now.

However, I would like to dedicate this write-up to the 2 wonderful people in my life who made my wonderful vacation a reality.....by making sure I went for it.

D - you are scary when u get excited - but I should still listen to you - Thanks for being there all the time.

Fashion Freak - I will no longer call you Fat :) You've been working hard to burn it off and have achieved much better results than I have.


What happened in Goa - will be written about soon - until then write in some comments about the ratio of fault between "yours truly" & "our domestic airlines" ;)

One hell of a vacation

I am back....Back into the same old grind.....the corporate rat race. Have loads to write about from my few days in paradise...but not enough time.

So here's what i plan to do.....I am gonna break down my trip to Goa into 2, 3 or 4 seperate entries starting from tomorrow.

In the meanwhile make do with Savvy and Deeply Dippy .

For those of you interested in pictures from out trip, please visit my new webpage -
Roots, Branches & Trees

GOA Calling

Deepti & I are heading to Goa tomorrow....will be hanging around Baga till Sunday :) We have been really looking forward to this Vacation for a long time...

Savvy's coming from Mumbai, Lata from Pune, Nealesh is going with us, Kishore and his wife will join us on friday. Even Vicky might come over on the weekend.

Lets hope this holiday lives up to what everyones been thinking.

My Agenda for the next few days is fixed....I am going to relax like never before. The whole idea is to do Absolutely NOTHING during this vacation.

Will write about the trip and put up some pictures once I get back.

Until then - Asta-la-vista - Baby.

Baby Tracker Updated

Have updated the tracker with some new pictures of Deepti. For those of you who would like to view the pictures one at a time, I have also uploaded these snaps on my yahoo album

Festival of Lights

Diwali - Used to be my favourite festival. A reminder of the achievements through the year celebrated by pampering yourself with new clothes and lighting up candles and colourful lights. Also, kind of beginning of my Birthday season :)

This year however, I can't help but wonder if it still means the same to me....

This year, I found Diwali to be a Very Loud & Noisy affair. The Lane outside our house was full of paper the next morning. The Air was so full of polluted smoke that I didn't want to inhale.

For once in my life, I am glad my parents were very particular about what I did on Diwali. Have a quick shower in the evening, Put on your nice clothes, have a small Puja at home, have some 'mithai', light up all the candles & diyas around the house, about 30 to 40 minutes of bursting crackers and then spend time with family & friends. That's how I remember it to be....and how I wish it were still the same.

In contrast however, this year - It wasn't a day of Diwali - like most commercially promoted festivals worldwide [thanks to Archies, Hallmark & all those Jewellers], this year it felt like a Diwali week....to celebrate the Diwali week, you can do about 3 to 4 days of Gambling (Card) sessions, with an assorted array of alcohol brands and a good spread of food. Further more cracker bursting can go on 24/7 [there are laws around to avoid late nights & early mornings but who cares - its DIWALI.

Here is what I am majorly confused about - minus the irritable noise and air pollution - all I did last weekend was get together with friends over dinner and drinks, while some smoked & others gambled. Come to think of it, That's what most of my regular weekends are like.

So was the Diwali weekend all about the Noise & Air Pollution, that doesn't sound so good.........Let me put it this way, henceforth I promise to make my Diwali weekends more memorable and fruitful.

Savita Aur Sushim

This is the tale of 2 people who came into Bangalore for a weekend. Savita (urf Savvy)- the 24 hour Non Stop Entertainment Channel & Sushim - The comparatively quiet guy with a level head and a good taste in whisky.

Unfortunately for Sushim, a financial wizz - his darling wife didn't come with remote or any other form of control mechanism. I can almost picture the packing that said - "Handle with care" & "Switch on at your own risk", cause once she gets started, theres no stopping her.

Jokes apart, They are a wonderful couple and compliment each other beautifully. Sushim is a good friend to have around & Savvy has a gift that ensures everyone around her is always smiling.

Deepti & I haven't been going out lately [at least not as much as we used to] and the weekend with friends was a very welcome change.

Fortunately for us, some political guys called a 'Bandh' on wednesday, which allowed Deepti & I to get some rest after the long weekend with our friends from Mumbai.

Thank you Savitha & Sushim for a wonderful time.

Seventeen Weeks

We are now in week 17, and according to the latest update, our baby is now the size of a Large Onion :) [about 5 inches long]. Not sure where you find such big onions.

I found this information from a website I recently subscribed to. BabyCenter.com . I love this site [No I have not been paid for giving them publicity]. A must 'subsribe to' for all those who are having or planning to have a child.

Every Monday they send in the weekly update on your baby - Starts your week off with a big smile. Plus some good stuff for expectant moms & dads to read about.

However, if your wife is even partially like mine.....avoid giving her the URL....She reads up all kinds of weird stuff and then drives me nuts.

The Difference

Everyone I met after I got married last year kept asking me the same old question -"How's married life treating you ?". Having known Deepti for 5 years before we finally got married, my answer was always the same - "haven't felt any difference yet :)".

I kept wondering why I never felt the difference, and if I was actually missing out on that 'different' feeling.

The last few months, I've been hoping.....waiting for someone to ask me that question again. This time my answer would be 'different'.
We are expecting our first baby.

Life is now - 'DIFFERENT'.

I have never felt so good & happy. Along with the happiness comes a very weird feeling. The fear of the unknown. Deepti & I discussed this for a few months before we decided to walk the line, but the big question keeps coming back into my head - Am I ready for this ? Am I capable of being responsible for a 'family'? Can I be a good father ?

Its scary to wake up one morning and realize that my life is no longer just about me or the woman I love......there's more. Over the last few months I have learnt that I now need to live like a responsible man [Don't Laugh - I am serious & a little scared].

The anxiety is driving me nuts. My heartbeat accelerates everytime I think about my baby. I am writting this blog with goosebumps right now. The excitment is more than anything I have ever felt. The confusion with her 'urges' & 'mood swings' keeps me on my toes and contrary to everything I had heard....I am loving every minute of it. I am not even going to try and describe how I felt when I sat next to Deepti through the scan, I don't believe my vocabulary will do justice to that feeling.

I am as ready for this new phase of life as I will ever be.

Look out FATHERHOOD - here I come.