Everyone I met after I got married last year kept asking me the same old question -"How's married life treating you ?". Having known Deepti for 5 years before we finally got married, my answer was always the same - "haven't felt any difference yet :)".
I kept wondering why I never felt the difference, and if I was actually missing out on that 'different' feeling.
The last few months, I've been hoping.....waiting for someone to ask me that question again. This time my answer would be 'different'.
We are expecting our first baby.
Life is now - 'DIFFERENT'.
I have never felt so good & happy. Along with the happiness comes a very weird feeling. The fear of the unknown. Deepti & I discussed this for a few months before we decided to walk the line, but the big question keeps coming back into my head - Am I ready for this ? Am I capable of being responsible for a 'family'? Can I be a good father ?
Its scary to wake up one morning and realize that my life is no longer just about me or the woman I love......there's more. Over the last few months I have learnt that I now need to live like a responsible man [Don't Laugh - I am serious & a little scared].
The anxiety is driving me nuts. My heartbeat accelerates everytime I think about my baby. I am writting this blog with goosebumps right now. The excitment is more than anything I have ever felt. The confusion with her 'urges' & 'mood swings' keeps me on my toes and contrary to everything I had heard....I am loving every minute of it. I am not even going to try and describe how I felt when I sat next to Deepti through the scan, I don't believe my vocabulary will do justice to that feeling.
I am as ready for this new phase of life as I will ever be.
Look out FATHERHOOD - here I come.
2 comments:
You will be a great father. And you should know that. :)
Boomsa a.k.a. Anoopa
It is really well written Gaurav, raw emotions of forthcoming fatherhood reflect through your article. And You are a well behaved guy :) and will be a good father too (a guarantee)
Post a Comment